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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28547586">missed you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/olle/pseuds/olle'>olle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Caretaking, Drunkenness, M/M, POV Alternating, POV Second Person, Pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:35:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,375</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28547586</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/olle/pseuds/olle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The guys get together to drink and catch up. Ten is a lightweight, and Johnny a responsible friend. (Or that was the intention, anyway.)</p><p>Second person POV</p><p> </p><p>Also I might not finish this xD</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Reader, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Johnny POV</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Drunk Ten. </p><p>He's leaning against you, cheeks hot and reddish and soft. The entirety of him squishy, fluffy, sweet. His smile is bright but so gone and so far away. </p><p>Jaehyun is sitting across the table, reminiscing about trainee days and Mark is beside him, curling his body in laughter. Happiness. It's been so long since you've gotten together like this, for a night out with no thought of tomorrow. </p><p>A slender arm fumbles up around yours and fixes iteself around you. Your eyes glance down at Ten, who is holding you close and tight, as if afraid to let go, afraid to lose. An anchor to reality, in the moment? Or a long lost desire, pulling at strings long since repressed? </p><p>As soon as the thought surfaces, your conscious self push it away. Not the time, go away. </p><p>"Guys," you hear yourself say and clear your throat. They all pause their laughter to listen. "It's late already, should we call it a night?" </p><p>"Ooooh, nooo, I wanna talk more~" Ten whines and stretches, clutches, scratches like a cat at your skin. It's lightly painful, but the touch sends an ominous shiver through your body, needy. Yikes.</p><p>"You'll thank me in the morning." you chuckle, trying your outmost to be casual and firm. You're not that drunk, actually, just lightly tipsy. On the edge of sobriety. It's nice, perfect even; just right. </p><p>"Yeah, you're right." Jaehyun mumbles as he stretches. "Better quit when all is well,". </p><p>"Mm," you nod, shifting your weight and urging Ten to move. His closeness seems to be doing... strange things to your body. Actually, scratch that. Nothing's wrong, he's drunk, your're drunk, whatever. </p><p>"Where are you staying tonight, Ten?" </p><p>Ten has his eyes closed (and that damn pout on his lips, you swear to God...) but with his free hand he rummages messily around the backpack beside him, to dramatically pull out a card and dangle it in front of your face. </p><p>"Hilton fucking hotel, big boyyy~~" </p><p>You swallow. </p><p>"Man, okay, uh..." Your hands start gathering the glasses and plates on the table, organizing them. "I'll see you guys at the dorm," </p><p>Your look ahead and meet Jaehyun's eyes. There's no need for words, Jaehyun shines with unspoken understanding. Mark is way gone, still sort of laughing, yet somehow trying to compose himself all the same. </p><p>You nod, thanking Jaehyun with a little smile. </p><p>"Okay, come on now," Jaehyun averts his gaze and pushes Mark out of the booth. "I'll call a cab," </p><p>"Make him drink some water, will you?" you remind, earning a nod. Jaehyun places a few bills at the table and with that, the two of them stagger away toward the exit, Mark half asleep against Jaehyun's firm stature. He'll be alright; Jaehyun's a good caretaker. Mostly. </p><p>Now, turning to the little issue that has seem to quite matter-of-factly fallen asleep against your arm, you mind begins to plan. Ten is a mess, at least by the looks of it. You could send him to his hotel, but he might not find his god damn room and it'll be your fault. Okay, you'll see him to his room. It's the only option. </p><p>♤♡◇♧ </p><p>"Mmmm... Johnny-hyung, I'm so happy~" Ten sings into your leather jacket, and you bow apologetically in response to the queer look the taxi driver sends you. God, Ten is a handful in this state. You did know, but it has been a long time since... </p><p>The car pulls up beside the building and you hand over some cash, followed by your trying to force Ten out of the vehicle without harming him. He's not a heavy guy, but right now, he feels like a ton. </p><p>The grey city night sky and countless lights greet you as the two of you finally step onto the pavement, his little figure still clinging to you. </p><p>"Are the others here as well?" you ask, not sure why since Ten seems to be in no condition to answer. </p><p>"Mmmm..." he actually mumbles. "Yangyangie and Sichengie are..." His free hand waves around, communicating aimlessly. "somewhere." Gives up and sighs happily. </p><p>"Alrighty. Let's, uh, let's get you back." </p><p>"Yay~~" Ten mumbles with that bright voice of his, then fucking giggles, brighter still (if at all possible) at his own words. You really don't know anymore. You feel like laughing, too, but there's seriously a situation going on and nothing good will ensue from your falling into chaos as well. Focus, Johnny, focus. </p><p>♤♡◇♧ </p><p>The elevator ride is quiet and Ten leans lightly against you, breathing steadily, hiccupping every once in a while. The smell of alcohol is prominent now that you have your senses back in function. You feel as if you ought to be concerned, but in a way, it could have been worse. How many times has Ten gotten himself drunk without someone (yourself) to take care of him? </p><p>"Waah..." Ten mumbles soft nonsense into your jacket once more, and your shake your head, an involuntary smile on your lips. </p><p>♤♡◇♧ </p><p>The joyous jingle of the door unlocking with the key card being pressed against the lock penetrates your ears, very much unwelcome. </p><p>The room is very white and neat, not much but a large, open suitcase lying by the bedside. All is quiet, untouched. </p><p>You lead Ten to the bed and he flops easily down onto it, stretching his whole body in an unholy manner as soon as the sheets fold around him. </p><p>"Nnnngh..." </p><p>He lies there, the hem of his shirt not so tucked anymore, but showing off the smooth honey skin. <em>You have to taste it</em>, the words echo in your head.</p><p>He grabs hold of your arm and tugs you down onto the bed beside him, and you don't have time nor strength to refuse. His eyes still aclose and a light smile bracing his lips. Perfectly, genuinely happy. They say drunk people cannot hold lies, cannot be untruthful. If it's true, then you must be a lucky person indeed, observing this. He looks as if there is no place else he would want to be; nothing bothering him at all, even with the rollercoaster of a schedule constantly stressing him. All of you. </p><p>Maybe it's all right. Maybe this is life, happening right before your eyes. </p><p>You were supposed to just drop him off. Just see to it that he didn't get assaulted or murdered (or lost, the company would have your head either way) on his way to safety and sleep. But here you are, being co-dependent and soft. </p><p>It's so awkward, in a way, because of the span of time that has passed since trainee days. You hate it; hate how time has put this distance between the two of you, who used to be like brothers. Like... </p><p>
  <em>I wanna have XXXX with you!!!!</em>
</p><p>Oh God, stop. </p><p>The sudden memory comes out of nowhere and this urge to ask what the FUCK that note was all about hits you again, AGAIN after all these years. So many repressed and forgotten questionmarks seem to surface just at this little time spent together. </p><p>Maybe it's because he's drunk and nonsensical; maybe it's because he's being his real self and not holding back. Ten is just like he was, even in this drunkness, and memories that had long since faded are suddenly alight with their presence.</p><p>A needy groan sends you back to reality, and you remember in what universe you actually are. </p><p>Water, you need water.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ten POV</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything aches, everything keeps floating around in front of your eyes – even when you try to close them. </p><p>Shit. That was waaayyy too much. Yep, for sure. You wanna fucking vomit. Your stomach whirls around uncomfortably and threatens to unleash hell. Think of nothing, think of something steady and... immovable. Ugh. </p><p>Where are you even? Home? Wherever the fuck that is nowadays. It's a bed you're lying on, that's for damn certain. It's very soft and feels remarkably clean. Smells clean. </p><p>Amidst your thinking, something icy cold suddenly touches your abdomen and makes you jolt up involuntarily. </p><p>You hear yourself squeal quite loudly and your hands grab hold of the thing - as well as the apparent hand holding onto it. </p><p>"You'll thank me in the morning." someone says; a soft, so much beloved voice. So missed. </p><p>You don't remember shit but the emotions that come in waves are nearly overwhelming. </p><p>It's painful; it aches. </p><p>"Johnny-hyung," </p><p>"Hm?" </p><p>Fuck it, you think only to regret it seconds later . </p><p>"You know I used to like you, right?" </p><p>Silence. That disgusting, hated silence. </p><p>"But, like, it was years ago." you hastily reassure. It's true, it was a thing back then. Not now. Work is work, colleagues are colleagues. Perhaps in another universe – and probably not even then. </p><p>That pain again. Long forgotten; suddenly present. </p><p>You suddenly laugh, perhaps to cover whatever tears were lying in wait and are now pushing to free themselves from your eyes. Everything is horribly embarassing but you can't think of a decent save for this one. There's no way out of this, now. </p><p>"I... had a hunch, but–" Johnny suddenly blurts out but stops. </p><p>... </p><p>"But what?" </p><p>You look in his general direction, not quite able to find his face in the blurriness of the current reality. Also, the lights are dimmed for some reason. </p><p>"But... I don't know..." he trails off, looking away; looking as though his thoughts are wandering. </p><p>"I know." you begin and seat yourself up in a better position on the bed. </p><p>Big mistake. </p><p>Your stomach does a flip and you know without thinking you need the toilet immediately. Your hand is against your mouth before you can realise and in a matter of seconds you're in the bathroom, crouching over the gross mess you've made in the toilet. You feel like puking more as you look at it, and taste the mixture of burning alcohol and other unspeakable things in your mouth. God damn, you knew this would happen. </p><p>You didn't even notice Johnny behind you until he now lays a hand on your shoulder and hands you a towel, drenched in lukewarm water. </p><p>"You okay?" he asks quietly, but as you take the towel you try to wave him away. </p><p>"Don't look at me, this is so embarassing." </p><p>"It's not really the first time I've seen you like this." There's a hint of amusement in his voice and with how intoxicated you still are – you really feel like punching him right here and now. But you physically can not manage anything save for wiping your face with the towel and shutting your eyes tightly as to surpress reality. </p><p>"It's fine, Ten. Honestly." </p><p>You wave your hand above your head, the nausea holding you from thought let alone speech. </p><p>He awkwardly keeps his hand on your shoulder, perhaps reassuring you he's not going anywhere. Perhaps. </p><p>Several minutes - that combined feel like an eternity - pass before you feel sure you're not going to throw up again. </p><p>"I'm gonna take a shower." you finally manage. </p><p>"Uh... you sure?" You find Johnny's face as you rise and push the flush-button, hand finding the wall to steady yourself. </p><p>"I'm not going to sleep like this." When you hear your voice you can really feel the bite in it, and it makes you feel guilty. Johnny's only trying to help, or something. You sigh and close your eyes for a moment. "I'm taking a shower." Softer, this time. </p><p>Johnny just stands there, seemingly in some great internal battle. What between, you could probably tell were you sober - but right now, you just patiently wait for him to leave. </p><p>But he doesn't. Why doesn't he leave? </p><p>"Let me help." </p><p>You find yourself blinking. That's not quite right. </p><p>"L~what?" </p><p>"Let. Me. Help. If you fall and knock your teeth out– just, Ten... it's fine." </p><p>You stare at him, feel yourself staring but can't keep from doing it. No way this is real. Are you suddenly hallucinating? Was there something else in those drinks of yours? </p><p>You laigh, suddenly, not sure why. </p><p>"Uhuh, man, I think I'm good actually–" </p><p>"What is it that you know?" </p><p>You look at him again. </p><p>"Huh?" </p><p>"You said you used to like me. Then I said I had a hunch, but I don't know..." He mimics the conversation from before. Somehow, you remember it. Terrifyingly enough. "And you said, 'I know'. What did you mean?" </p><p>It's a lot of information to get dumped on you in such a state and you feel the blood in your head pulsating harder and harder. </p><p>"I meant..." You close the lid of the toilet sloppily and slowly sit down on it, collecting yourself. "I know why you never told me you had that hunch. Why would you? But whatever, it's in the past." </p><p>Right now, you really feel like just melting away into nothingness. </p><p>"Is it, though?" </p><p>What's with these sudden confrontations? The fuck, Johnny? </p><p>"I don't know, is it?" you counter and glare at him. </p><p>Yeah, you're actually a bit annoyed. What's with him? He's being strange and confusing. </p><p>Johnny takes a sharp breath and keeps eye contact; there's a shitload if things happening in his head. You can tell, even now. </p><p>"I'm not sure." Johnny finally states, exhaling air and inhaling some sort of understanding. </p><p>"If you're just messing with me, I will–" </p><p>"I'm not. I'm just..." He looks like a questionmark. A tall, gorgeous questionmark. "Tired." </p><p>Johnny visibly deflates. </p><p>"Johnny. It's fuck-knows in the morning, I'm drunk as fuck, I don't even know where I am, I– Can I just please take a shower and sleep?" </p><p>There are several seconds of silence before Johnny thankfully nods and quietly backs out of the bathroom. </p><p>What. A. Mess. </p><p>As soon as the water is running, you find yourself curled into a ball on the floor, crying your fucking tears out as silently as possible and hugging yourself like there's no end to it. </p><p>Even if it's just drunk weirdness, hallucinations, even a dream– </p><p>Whatever reality is, right now you're just not up to anything responsible. And your stomach and throat still feels incredibly antagonistic. </p><p>Stepping out of the shower, you spot the water bottle on the sink. </p><p>"Fuck you, Johnny," you mutter, half-frowning half-grinning and drink it all in one go.</p>
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